Happy Monday, friends.
I wish I had something particularly inspiring to share with you this week. Right now, I’m just kind of dragging myself to the desk every day, hoping for a spark of energy, motivation, inspiration, anything to come to life.
This year has been a series of major ups and downs. My pessimistic side wants to say mostly downs, but the realist says it’s been about 50/50.
Last week brought big let-downs.
I found out the results of the poetry chapbook competition I submitted to in January–they were not in my favor. The stakes were as high as my hopes were. The prize money would have been enough for my partner and me to start the next chapter of our life.
The perfectionist in me railed against this reality. At another time in my life, when I had more energy, I would have beaten myself over it. But ultimately, I know I submitted the best work I could at the time.
There is a large part of me that doesn’t want to write poetry again. It’s tired and beaten down. I’m trying not to let the fire go out entirely, but man, is it squashed right now.
How do we tend to wounds like this?
Do we leave them to scab over on their own, and try to refrain from picking at them while they heal? Do we bandage them gently, with all the extra care we can spare at the moment?
I really don’t know. I’m just trying not to poke at this wound or make it any deeper. Maybe it’ll return one day, shyly offer me a pen, and tell me it’s ready to try again.
Anyway, I hope your week is starting off better than mine.
As always, I believe in you, and I hope you have a beautiful week.
I've always believed when you use words like defeat and wound, it imprints on your psyche. It creates a vivid image of pain and suffering that will ultimately interrupt your flow. I can see from this post that you're extremely passionate about your craft. Each time you sit down to create is a new opportunity to expand, to grow, to share your gift. When too much is focused on an end result, unnecessary resistance is introduced into the creative process, eclipsing your flow. Once you can express your creativity without an outcome in mind, you can flow more freely and ultimately achieve what you're hoping for. Let it flow dear friend, without conditions that might bog it down. You so beautifully said you believed in us (your reader), don't forget to save some of that belief for yourself. ❤️
What terrible news. Your poetry is truly something special, and I’m sorry it didn’t get chosen this time. I don’t have any advice on how to heal the wounds of disappointment, but know that your sadness is also my own, and I’d do anything I can to help. Sending love your way. <3